Either the raccoon got himself a microchip, or Frank & Zappa are aiding and abetting.
Adding insult to injury: On a morning when I could have slept in, Cory woke me 45 minutes early and informed me that I left the basement window open (I didn’t) and there were peanuts from one end of the kitchen to the other (there were not).
Amazingly, no husbands were harmed in the making of this post.